Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tuesday Advice Blogging: Employer Edition

On a more cheerful note I thought I'd share some of the excellent advice on dressing for your body type provided by The Commonwealth Bank of Australia on how to dress for your body type. We've already learned how the 1960s American school system thought we should dress - now it is time for employers to have their turn.

Apparently Employees' body types only come in two types Straight and Contoured.

If you are Straight (which seems to be code for skinny) you should wear:
*Fitted Shirts
*Tailored garements
*Long-line jacket
*Less emphasis on your waist area
*Wear tops outside skirts and pants
*Choose more angular hairstyles
*Choose more angular eyewear
*Choose angular earrings

If you are contoured (by which they appear to mean fat) you should wear:
*Relaxed shirts
*Soft Panelled Skirt
*Soft Fabric shirts worn as unreconstructed jackets
*Choose hairstyles that are soft and frame the face
*Choose more rounded eyewear
*Choose rounded earrings

Maybe the bank just likes everything to match - if you're round you should wear round things, and if you're lines you should wear lines. They also want to cover up fat with as much fabric as possible - as it might offend customers.


  1. Anonymous12:50 pm

    Oh my god, I'm so confused. See I thought my body was kinda 'straight' but my face was kinda 'contoured'.

    I didn't know whether I should wear inappropriate clothes or inappropriate hair and/or accessories.

    So I couldn't leave my house.

    Please send help asap.

  2. isn't it funny how they say "choose" when they are trying to direct you what to do? a strange definition of choice methinks.