Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Redemption

As a feminist either you can believe that there is the possibility that violent men can change, or you move to lesbian-feminist commune. I am sometimes uncertain about which option is more unlikely to work. But I've never liked communes so I remain an optimist.

I was going to write a long post on redemption, how it was possible, and why it didn't look like Tony Veitch. But Vic Tamati was on nine-to-noon this morning and demonstrated that in a way I never could.

I disagree very strongly with stargazer - who talks about accountability in terms of a conviction. There are many men convicted of assaulting their partner, or children, who just keep doing it. In this case a conviction would almost certainly lead to a jail term. I may have only seen the corridors and visiting rooms, but jail won't make anyone less abusive. By rendering abusive men powerless it perpetuates the ideas of power and control that feed abuse. External forces, like the court system, are not what's going to create change(although they do at times at as catalysts). What Vic Tamati did, and Tony Veitch didn't do, was talk about what he did without excuses, learn about abusive relationships, and work to help other men who are being abusive.

update I've edited the post because I misrepresented Stargazer's views.

4 comments:

  1. As a feminist either you can believe that there is the possibility that violent men can change, or you move to lesbian-feminist commune.

    Certainly these aren't the only two options? The claim that an engaged, secular, non-separatist feminism must rely on individual violent males changing their ways strikes me (a male) as somewhat odd. Certainly it is better for women and non-violent males to work together to create a society that doesn't produce violent males in the first place?

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  2. umm, show me where i said jail? i talked about a conviction, then said "i'm not much concerned about the sentence, in that i'm not much into punitive revenge." i'd appreciate if you'd correct your post to accurately reflect what i said.

    thanx.

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  3. Yeah I think we want a record of the fact that he broke the law and that we are not OK with him buying his way out of a conviction.

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  4. Would you mind posting (maybe just here in the comments) the edited-out portion of the post?

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