tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17759756.post9107990386453431429..comments2023-10-30T02:03:56.081+13:00Comments on Capitalism Bad; Tree Pretty: You can only say 'Yes' if you can say 'No'Maiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17212711843307060731noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17759756.post-46449863582260200252008-01-19T17:24:00.000+13:002008-01-19T17:24:00.000+13:00Maia,My statement that it isn't possible to build ...Maia,<BR/><BR/>My statement that it isn't possible to build a (non-totalitarian) world without rape comes down to fatalism - even if we manage to remove all the misogynistic power-structures and thought-patterns which so many people adhere to, I still think there will be men who will do terrible things. <BR/><BR/>Of course we shouldn't accept this, we should always try to expose rapists to justice and enable the women who have been violated to recover. Perhaps you're more optimistic than me, and I envy you that... and in the end, what matters is not whether it is possible to eliminate violence, what matters is that we try our hardest to achieve this, that we never give in to those who protect their mates from being brought to justice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17759756.post-88014572106113704452008-01-12T14:05:00.000+13:002008-01-12T14:05:00.000+13:00MaiaTristan didn't imply rape 'only' happened in d...Maia<BR/><BR/>Tristan didn't imply rape 'only' happened in dark alleys, and he didn't say anything about strangers. He merely pointed out that this is one way a rape can occur, and totally removing it will require a surveillance society.<BR/><BR/>That being said Tristan is wrong. What about those toothed vaginal inserts women in South Africa use? Of course, it could be argued that requiring women to insert foreign objects into their goddess-space in order to prevent men from doing the same thing is just outsourcing rape. It's a discussion I'd be interested to have, though.<BR/><BR/>Meanwhile, to men, I suggest MASTURBATING. Sex is just too risky. Sure, your girlfriend says yes, but can you really know the fear in her heart? Of course, women on women sex is another matter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17759756.post-39671872214505335542008-01-12T12:02:00.000+13:002008-01-12T12:02:00.000+13:00Tristan you are just plain wrong, and maintaining ...Tristan you are just plain wrong, and maintaining the idea that rape is something that happens in a dark ally with a stranger. With the vast majority of rapes men have, and use, other power, besides physical strength.Maiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17212711843307060731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17759756.post-37276943352043536462008-01-11T17:59:00.000+13:002008-01-11T17:59:00.000+13:00"until we build a society that doesn't give men th..."until we build a society that doesn't give men the power to rape"... I know this may be an anpalatable response, but any free society which does not engage in total surveillance and restriction of movement is always going to contain situations where men have the power to rape.<BR/><BR/>Why? Because any situation where a man and a woman are alone together, and the man is physically stronger, count as just such a potential situation. Men will always have the power to rape, even in a society without a boys' club police force. <BR/><BR/>While we need to remove the systematic sanctions of rape (our boys' club police etc), only teaching men not to rape, and teaching women to fight back, will give us anything like true protection.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17759756.post-32065865349537453192008-01-11T12:05:00.000+13:002008-01-11T12:05:00.000+13:00Jo, I'm glad your feeling are always so absolutely...Jo, I'm glad your feeling are always so absolutely clear-cut and not influenced by your partner. Mine aren't, and neither are my partners. So we compromise, and that seems to suit both of us more than saying "unless you are sure you want to have sex, we won't". Sometimes it's even worse than that - one of us starts half-heartedly and ends up enjoying it much more than they expected to. To me, what makes it ok is Maia's point: she can say no if she wants to. So saying "ah, what the heck, might as well" is acceptable consent. She seems to feel the same way about my half-hearted consent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17759756.post-79865008539353129392008-01-10T20:29:00.000+13:002008-01-10T20:29:00.000+13:00i would never expect my partner, and nor would he ...i would never expect my partner, and nor would he expect me, to have sex as some sort of compromise. Thats the problem with the normal hetero relationship dynamic the idea of "now we are together you must submit when I want it." go wank if you need to. I'll only have sex when we both want it. sometimes Moz.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17759756.post-63406208745802337212008-01-10T16:59:00.000+13:002008-01-10T16:59:00.000+13:00Maia, can you describe the sort of society where a...Maia, can you describe the sort of society where any group *always* have the power to say no to sexual contact? Rich white men get sexually assaulted too... I think that by that measure there can never be free permission given, because there's always the possibility of duress.<BR/><BR/><I>as far as I know feminists and/or wimmin very rarely rape.</I><BR/><BR/>Surely that's by definition. Women in general commonly commit rape and sexual assault, but none of them are feminists. At best some of them are the "female supremicist" type feminists raping men rather than the feminists we normally talk about.<BR/><BR/>Jo, of course men also have sex when they'd rather not, or out of a sense of obligation to their partners. They don't always have sex for their own pleasure. That's part of the compromise involved in being in a relationship.<BR/><BR/>Unfortunately my power to influence the sort of men Maia is talking about is somewhat limited, and the reason I'm not blogging about this is because the discussions are rarely helpful and commonly attract random hostility like yours.<BR/><BR/>MozAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17759756.post-92221864778742197732008-01-10T13:04:00.000+13:002008-01-10T13:04:00.000+13:00thanks for some nice fem links Maia, thought provo...thanks for some nice fem links Maia, thought provoking topic. HOPE IT CHALLENGES MEN TO THINK ABOUT HOW AND WHY of their sexual behaviour and the way in which they assert their power or lack of power in their own lives.<BR/>Its seems sad that rape is a feminist "issue", as far as I know feminists and/or wimmin very rarely rape. Would love to see men discussing the problem of rape on their blogs too. Would love to see more white people talking about racism as well. i still think rape is sexualized violence and that all women learning about their sexuality and being in touch with what they REALLY want can't be a bad thing. We need more openness and connection/expression btw EVERYBODY but there are some people that really need to step up their game. Something I have learned...If you are a womyn and you're having sex with anyone for anything other than your own pleasure(short or long term)and if you don't enjoy it at the time you're getting fucked over. PERIOD. Would this apply to men?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com